Male Submission – 7 Popular Myths

Male submission or malesub is a situation in BDSM and other sexual activities in which the submissive partner is male. A woman who dominates a male submissive is referred to as a dominant, domme or dominatrix. Sexual activity between a male submissive and a dominatrix is referred to as femdom.


1.Male submission is possible via just one way

This is false – there are many ways to be a male submissive.  Similar to what is obtainable in various kinks, submission is in a range.  Depending on what the males want from their dommes, submission can come in many forms. From a simple service to sissyfication or extreme sadism, it all depends on what both partners decide to try out.  However, it is important to understand that people’s preferences are different, and thus, there should never be a universal method of or approach to male submission.  And while at it, only practice what is both comfortable for yourself and your partner. 


2.Wimps are the only submissives

We can call this a popular societal misperception.  You will be surprised to discover that most male submissive take up excellent leadership roles outside the kinky engagements, where they exert strength and authority.  However, submissiveness presents such males the opportunity to ease the burdens that come with such responsibilities, and engage in service just like they want.  The ultimate aim of such services is to reach in to certain parts of themselves that are not always utilized or engaged in their day-to-day activities.


3.Inequality comes into such relationship

Submissiveness doesn’t mean the male always ends up a doormat, either in the long or short run.  Although this is possible and in fact already in practice, it is wrong.  Being partners should be the foundation of any relationship between a sub and dom, with the kink engagements coming in as secondary responsibilities.  While there are partners that engage in kink activities all day, such partners have managed to define their relationship such that they are 100% comfortable with doing such.  

Consider submission as a sexuality, so, if no one would be comfortable being treated differently because of their sexuality, then there shouldn’t be such in sub/dom roles.  The truth is, everyone is equal and deserves equal treatment, whether in sexuality or not.  So, see and treat people as humans first, before considering them as subs.


4.Male submissive are secret homosexuals

This is totally wrong.  Yes, it is possible to doubt the sexuality of your partner if all he wants is to be pegged or dominated.  However, the fact remains that his decision to explore his desires through such mediums does not in any way define his sexuality.  Considering what masculinity is perceived as, if there is any man interested in being submissive, they deserve to be celebrated.  Outside kinky engagements, men are known to be dominant and assertive.  While this may be due to many reasons, including fear of rejection among others, it doesn’t stop them from seeking to fulfil such desires with their primary partners.  And in cases where such desires are questioned, they may try fulfilling them outside their primary partner.  

The bottom line here remains communication – the sub should be able to communicate his desires explicitly to their partner, and if the partner is not having any of such, both should be able to agree on the best way forward – one that suits both parties. 


5.You can satisfy all your submission desires through dominatrix

As a male with fantasies about male submission, the best is to find a partner with similar desires – that is the only sane and safe way of exploring such fantasies.  However, if you are considering using a dominatrix, your fantasies and reality might not correlate in the least, and the disappointment that comes out of such can be detrimental to your already-high spirits.  Instead, get an experienced domme who is ready to start from scratch with you, and take you steadily and progressively to the apex of sensations.  While the idea of having your dominatrix tie you and whip you can be temptingly sexy, it is not the ideal way of playing out your desires, plus you get to miss out on some touchy and tense scenarios you shouldn’t miss.  So, take your time and get down with the right partner.  There have been several instances of males acting out their submission fantasies, and later fail to get the best out of the reality, because they never knew how taxing the extreme submission levels are or they are too afraid to experience the dirtiness and starkness of the reality.  And in such cases, they revert to the simpler brand of submission, which is their fantasies.  You can avoid such by taking your time to find the right partner who is ready to explore and enjoy every moment with you.

 

Good luck!

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2 Responses

The Mistress Noir
The Mistress Noir

April 28, 2019

While this is a good subject to delve deeper into, I think its unfair to say you cannot have true or deep connected fantasy/fetish experiences unless they are with a traditional romantic partner. Because if that were true, you’d be crushing so many peoples fetish hopes and desires to be able to explore their own kinks and/or fetishes beyond just thinking about it.

There are many people who cannot explore their fantasies with their romantic primary partners, and the list is long with valid reasons they cannot. Just because someone shares their fetish fantasies with their partner doesnt mean their partner will want to engage in exploration with kinky partner. There might be shame, or risk, or negative consequences tied to revealing ones fetish or kinky desires to a significant other.

Another myth mentioned in the comments is professional fetish fascilitators are fake or just in it for the money. While there may be some truth in the fact this profession has its share of scammers, it doesnt mean all of us are just out to rape a guys wallet. When you are in a service orientated profession – one that requires a person to put forth emotional and physical labor, with skillsets that have to be learned or acquired thru experience, and have specific tools/supplies (I have invested 20k in my bdsm toys/props) that have to bought specifically to provide such service, is it fair to ask for this service for FREE? Who works for free? Every fantasy I fulfill requires a minimum of 2 hours of my time because people forget there is preparation and cleanup time needed, there is fetish attire, then ALL the toys a pro must have on hand to fulfill fantasies that run the gamut…not to mention the mindset and intellectual ability to execute the fantasies for those who come to see us.
I would not discount the importance of the professional providers. You would be doing us (your customers in many cases) a huge disservice if you did.
Kinky regards,
Ms. Noir

Jim Heibel
Jim Heibel

March 29, 2019

Why is it so difficult to find a dominant female outside of going to a professional? Especially here in Chicago land, where mst dommes are posers,only in it for the money.

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