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Article written by Sub Fab exclusively for oxy-shop.com

Welcome to my writings.  I have just started writing blogs about kink and BDSM and after finishing my first, I realized that I could offend a large number of people very quickly with a single word.  A word that I more than not use in referring to myself.  That word is faggot or fag for short.  It is a word with a great deal of power behind it.  It often causes us to stop and look about wondering what is about to happen or what just did happen.   In many cases it has been used with a great deal of hate and venom behind it. So why on earth would I use it, particularly when referring to myself?  It is simple…it is a word with a great deal of power behind it. 

One of my kinks is humiliation and degradation, particularly as it applies to me being a submissive.  No word seems to carry the impact of this word.  It is often spoken with aggression and implied dominance of one using it over the one on the receiving end of it.  In short, it gets my dick hard as a rock when I hear it directed at me.  So much so, I use it when referring to myself. 

No word seems to carry the impact of this word

As it happens, this afternoon, I was chatting with someone on a popular hook up site and used the word in reference to myself, as the conversation was starting to heat a little.  He was taken aback.  He asked me not to use the word when referring to myself.  As the situation had him as the Dom, I simply agreed because that is what he wanted but I did offer an explanation as to why I was using it. I explained the power the word had to put me in the headspace of extreme submission and keep me there.  I told him that my referring to myself even outside of the bedroom was an indication of my commitment to submission.  I also acknowledged that the level of submission I was suggesting and striving to exist in wasn’t for everyone. But it was for me.  It did get me thinking, however, what others within the BDSM and fetish communities might think so I posed a question to a fetish group on Facebook made up mostly of kinky gay men.  What I asked was this,

What do you think about the words fag or faggot, particularly in  Dom/sub interaction, whether it be in the bedroom or out?

The answers were as varied as one would expect.  There were some that cited childhood bullying and the hate behind the word and others calling it hypocritical for us to use the word yet get angry when it is used at us.  But there were also those that claimed pride in the word and wanted to reclaim it and one even made it akin to pain play only the pain is mental and not physical. There was even the occasional contributor that loves the word as much as I do and readily embraces in and out of the bedroom. 

I found the discussion quite interesting and informative.  Of all that was said on the subject, however, the most pointed and I feel important thing stated was one man simply saying that even though it wasn’t for him, he didn’t want to “yuck other people’s yum.”

yuck other people’s yum.

So given all that, why does this get me hard?  What is it about a single word that can pull me into headspace and keep me there even when I leave the bedroom?  I wish I knew.  I can, however, make some guesses.  First, I think because it has a history of aggression behind it.  I have always found rough sex and aggression in the bedroom to be a huge turn on.  Secondly, my interest in kink and many of the fetishes I find drawn to require me to be able to reduce myself in the eyes of the men I am attracted to and the thing I want to do with them. Social norms have done very well in defining masculinity and certain fetishes can strip away that masculinity.  Since I have never been one to be find enjoyment in being feminized, this would seem to be a logical alternative.  I can use chastity as a good example.  Removing the control of a man’s dick from him strips away masculinity and can reduce the man to less of a man.  I think you may see where my train of thought is. Anyway, I have never really felt a great need to examine why certain things turn my crank; I just know that they do.

After reading that, please keep in mind I can only speak for myself. Those reading may have different thoughts and different motivators and different reasons. Remember, kink can be a very personal path.  Each person’s brain is wired in a unique way and to suggest that every kinkster is motivated by the same things is ludicrous.  The most important thing to take away from this little conversation is to remember to have fun and enjoy doing what you do.  As long as it doesn’t hurt other and doesn’t hurt you (unless you are into that) then it can’t be completely wrong.  We as kinksters have been and continue to be looked at with at the least apprehensive curiosity and at the worst revulsion.  Never let that “yuck your yum.” 

I would be curious to know what other felt about this, gay, straight, bisexual, etc. Do you use this word in play or out of play or do you have a word that holds power enough to set the libido on fire? Just remember, when commenting, please be respectful.  Your kink may not be my kink but you have every right to it.

 

—   Sub Fagg


3 Responses

Billy
Billy

November 13, 2018

First Thank You for addressing my favorite word also….FAGGOT…..I am one and I love it! All is like you said…..I think that is why I respond to chastity so easily…..I want to be a femme bitch, degraded and used like a common whore sexually by another gay man!

XOXOXOXOXOXO B

Suzy Brown
Suzy Brown

October 22, 2018

For me it’s the word, “cunt.” It’s a hard, vulgar term for my fuckhole.

Syndy
Syndy

October 22, 2018

Looooooove this, I love hearing the word and it doesn’t matter who says it I just get ravenously horny.

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