How to manage a Long distance BDSM relationship? - Oxy-shop

Nowadays, long distance relationships are more and more common, with people finding their partners on websites such as Fetlife, Match.com or others. It can be tough to keep a connection strong when you can’t be together physically. Especially in a dominant to submissive relationship, where physical contact is even more important. We take a look on how to manage long distance BDSM relationships and make them work!


Communication is key

Any long-distance BDSM arrangement is going to require a lot of communication with your partner and keep up with how your partner is feeling – via texts, mails, phone calls, video chats. It is a crucial point to keep the relationship going. Favor verbal communication with your partner, it will reinforce your relationship and create closer bounds.

Emails on a routine basis, sharing even the smallest bits of your life, lets your partner know that you are thinking them.

 

Trust & Honesty 

You earn trust by being honest and having integrity. When you can't see each other to watch facial expressions and body language, you only have words to build a trusting relationship. Trust is crucial to being willing to get your kink on with another person.

Additionally, it is crucial to do what you are instructed to do. In a Dom/Sub relationship, it will only work if the Dom believes that tasks are accomplished by the sub. The sub should send proof to avoid getting in trouble.


Tasks ideas for a sub:
 

  • Give your sub assignments and have them show the results. For example, let him do some self bondage, use a new toy, walk all day with a butt plug, leave his handprint on his ass, etc.
  • Self administered punishments. Use nipple clamps for a certain amount of time, posting a humiliating pic, write on his body with sharpie or let him write an essay on what he did wrong.
  • Take his right of sexual pleasure for a certain amount of time. Use a chastity device (available for men and women) and keep the key! Mail it to him once you decide he is ready to be unlocked. Use a timer lock to make it self inflict, he won’t be able to be released until the time you decided runs off.
  • Instruct him to lie naked, face down on the floor while facetime him. Go about your business and ignore him.
  • Stop communication for a certain amount of time. This is some serious punishment to break the routine. He will surely come back begging.

 

Playing from a distance is very exciting, and creative Dominants and willing submissives can have loads of fun trying new things together.   For a submissive, playing from a distance requires an extra dose of self-discipline.  It makes the separation more tolerable when you can share in the joy of playing with your Dominant.  It will allow you both to feel closer when being together physically isn’t possible.


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