05-09-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium
Picture this. You just finished an intense BDSM session that made you connect to your partner and satisfied all your sexual needs. But a few hours or days later, you don't know why you feel a wave of sadness, sorrow and despair.
What happened is that you went into a sub drop. But don't worry. You are perfectly normal and it is okay and normal to experience this. Wondering what a sub drop is? Read this article to learn everything about sub drop and why it happens.
Sub drop is the way the body responds to the sudden drop of hormones in the body after an intense BDSM session that leaves the body flooded with endorphins.
Some people have years of experience of intense BDSM play sessions without ever going through sub drops. Then, out of nowhere, it happens.
Since people have different bodies, a sub drop may look and feel different for every person who experiences it, ranging from mild to extreme symptoms. It can be in the form of physical pain, extreme depression, irritability, anxiety, and fatigue.
While some of these symptoms are not unusual after a session, (especially pain and fatigue), sub drop is the manifestation of these emotions at great level.
It could feel like a massive decline in your mental health.
A sub-drop happens between BDSM partners while a Con-Drop occurs after a convention. A ‘Con Drop’ is one in which participants feel burned out and irritable in the hours or days following a BDSM convention or play party.
Casual BDSM engagements may include one-time scenes at dungeons or parties.
People in casual play relationships do not really experience sub drop as much as those in committed relationships. Here are some of the reasons:
What causes sub drops is that endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin, released during a BDSM session, leave your body. The time it takes for these hormones to rebuild up to the normal balance of hormones in your system is when sub drop creeps in.
The hormones that tend to be involved before and during the Sub Drop are:
So while you wait for these hormones to rebuild, what do you do to make you feel better? Simple. The subdrop aftercare. Read on to find out what this is.
The same way BDSM boundaries and safe words need to be established between partners before engaging in any BDSM activity, so does a framework of aftercare activities.
The sub drop aftercare consists of activities that are geared towards the needs of the submissive partner after a BDSM session. They are a group of activities that help a submissive partner who is experiencing sub drop recover quickly.
Neemii on Reddit gives examples of sub drop aftercare activities;
As a Dom, if your partner seems distant or irritable in the hours or days after an intense BDSM play session, check out a few ways to handle it:
N.B: The sub partner going through the Sub Drop always always gets to choose the manner of after care activities they'd like and then communicate them to the Dom.
Jessica L Tucker on Quora speaks on sub-drop aftercare;
Aftercare can take just as long as the actual BDSM activities, but sometimes it can last even longer. It’s not uncommon to enlist a friend from the BDSM community or to hire a professional to be a caregiver to members of a scene.
Though it doesn’t have the same sexy energy as the actual play, aftercare is just as important to the BDSM experience. If you plan to dabble in this sort of erotica, don’t think that you can breeze past this essential step. Remember, pain and pleasure are more satisfying with a little pampering thrown into the mix.
● HOW LONG DOES A SUB DROP LAST?
People's bodies vary. A sub drop, although temporary, can last from a couple of hours and may span to days and weeks. It all depends on the body of the individual.
● CAN A DOMINANT PARTNER EXPERIENCE A DROP?
Known as dom-drop or top-drop, the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship may also experience a feeling of sadness and irritability after a BDSM session.
You do not have to allow sub drops to interfere with your BDSM play. Its effects are not even usually long-term. Plus, they are preventable and treatable. The intense negative emotions accompanying a sub drop can come down with proper aftercare activities and communication. Good luck and Enjoy!
Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com.
Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer.
"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure"
Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices for educational and entertainment purposes.