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We are proud to welcome back our series called "Mistress Interview" where we'll try to get to know Mistresses and their life & BDSM stories. You can read or enjoy listening to seductive voices of Dominatrix women from Fetish & Kink industry. Join us for an adventure and let's find out what they have to say!
Mistress Damiana Chi - mistress interview
Dominatrix since 2000, a natural Dominant for most of her adult life. Born and raised in Los Angeles, is an all-American girl, but her Chinese-Filipina ethnicity and fluency in Cantonese brings an exotic element to Mistress Damiana Chi character.
Mistress enjoys submissives, masochists, fetishists and bottoms who understand how to respectfully and sincerely communicate with a Mistress. Very particular in my selection process, so those who impress Her the most will receive Her attention.
Be ready to completly surrender!
Website: https://www.mistressdamianachi.com/home
Link Tree: https://damianachiphd.com/
The Evolutionary Dominatrix: https://academy.theevolutionarydominatrix.com/
1. Tell us a bit about yourself
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
Hello. My name is Mr. Damiana Chi, and I have been a professional Dominatrix for over two decades. It's going on about 23, 24 years now at this point, and I have a wonderful full life. I've been a full time dominatrix since the beginning of my career. I run an academy to train dominatrices. It is called the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy, where I train dominatrixes from all over the world. It is an online academy and very in depth I take mentorship very seriously, so I work very closely with all of my students. I also run the conscious kink community, which I think you asked me about a little bit later. I will describe it in more detail later. But I created that basically because I want to create a safe space where conscious kinksters can get together and mingle with one another and make friends without the hassles of being around. All the unconscious stuff that's going on in social media, like fake Dommesm financial domination, any negativity and things like that. I'll go into that later.
I am a BDSM kink sexologist, a certified sexologist, and that is how I do counseling with anyone who needs counseling or consulting around kink related topics. I did get a PhD in clinical psychology and also have a master's in counseling psychology, but I do counseling under my sexologist license. I chose not to get the licensure for psychology because of the conflict between being a professional dominatrix and being a psychologist. But I do carry those degrees, and those degrees really do inform me on all of the theories that I've created regarding my methodologies in teaching FemDom.
2. How did you get into becoming a mistress?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
So how I became a Mistress is kind of accidental. The story is I was in my master's program studying psychology, counseling, and psychology. I was given an assignment at school to pick and write abouta disorder in the DSM-IV , which is the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's kind of like the Bible of the psychology world. All the disorders are listed in there. You know, all the diagnosed disorders. All the disorders in there sounded so depressing. So I chose sexual masochism. I chose my sexual masochism because I've always had an interest in sex. And my sister at the time had an errand boy who she called her slave, and he was kind of running errands for her and this and that so I was really interested in the submissive mindset.
I interviewed him, and then it became really, really interesting, you know, just finding out how someone who has fantasies of masochism and submission and things like that, how they think. I just kept writing papers on it and then I eventually started playing with this the slave of my sisters as we sort of shared him. The first time I met the slave, he was coming over to our house. My sister and I had house that we were going to be moving out of and she said, "So you know what? When he is over here at our house just put on a pair of high heels and boss them around." And I said: "Oh, all right, that sounds fine. I can do that. It sounds easy enough." So here was this guy in panties packing boxes for us in our living room. I didn't say anything to him until there was this one point where he asked my sister: "Miss.. May I use the bathroom?" she said: "Yes, but you have to go sit on on the toilet like a girl." So he went over there, was sitting on the toilet with the door, cracked open a couple of inches. And I walked over to the door of the bathroom and I pushed the door wide open and I said: "You don't get any privacy." he looked at me, really startled and that was it. That was the all I said to him the whole day. But after that, he contacted me and said: "If you really if you want to play, you know, I'd really love to be dominated by you because I think you have a knack for this." I said: "Sure, why not?"
So he started cleaning my house. I had a little apartment at the time. He started cleaning my apartment for $50 each time. I thought, "score, $50 for cleaning my house". That sounds like a deal. I kinda like be mean to him and bossing around and such then he became my slave, too. All the while, I would be still kind of picking his brain and to ask him about things like how he felt when I did this to him, when I when I said that to him. So I really just kept learning more and more about the psychology of submission and domination. Eventually, shortly after that, I got trained in a dungeon by two men mentors Sabrina Belladonna and Ilsa Strix, and I trained under them for a year and a half and then went on to become a professional dominatrix.
3. What are the important lessons you’ve learned so far?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
The important lessons that I've learned from the very beginning were to have very firm boundaries, from boundaries about what I'm willing to do, not do, boundaries around communication, what I allow, what I don't allow. As far as contact, I only limit people to email, contact and even then they can abuse that. Very, very few can text me. I only give my number out to those who are current clients. So boundaries, communication, respect. Having respect for the client as well as seeing that they respect me is very important because that's how you know that's a start of a good relationship. Those are the most important things that I learned starting from the very beginning of my business.
4. What does it take to make it in a tough industry like the adult business?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
So the adult business, it was never really a tough industry for me because when I started it 23 years ago, there were only a handful of pro Dommes in Los Angeles where I am. You can count them on both hands, really, there was like 10, 12 because we were all mentored by real mentors, by real dominatricies. You couldn't become a dominatrix back in the day without real training. With us being the only Dommes in L.A. we were the ones that were advertised in a little newspaper called New Reality. It was either a New reality or it was DTI, which is the bigger magazine. Those are both out of print now. But, if you were a submissive or a masochist or a fetishist and you wanted to see a dominatrix for a session, there was only us to see. I had a great business starting from the very beginning of my career.
Nowadays in Los Angeles, there's like a 100 or so. I'm sure it's much more competitive these days with the Dommes that are trying to make it in the business. Everybody's in there mixed in with, all the real Dommes are mixed in with the fake, Dommes mixed in with the Dommes that have not been trained or they train themselves by watching stuff on online like porno, king porn and stuff like that, which is not real training at all. That does not teach you the psychology behind beauty BDSM and the skills behind all the physical stuff like flogging, whipping, bondage, all that kind of stuff. I'm fortunate, very fortunate to have started out my career this way because I have a devoted clientele who still see me over the years. I've never quit, I've always been in the business, never took a break, and so my clientele stays with me.
5. What makes you a great mistress?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
I think what makes me a great mistress is that I truly care about people and I truly care about what what kind of experience to give them in their BDSM session. I know what they want is very, very important to them, no matter if it's their first session or the hundredth session. It's very, very important and significant experience for them and experience is what makes our quality of life. What I love to give someone is a great life experience. I find out everything that they want and I ask about the psychology behind their desires. I find out what their fantasies are and if they have kinks and fetishes, can I like where they came from and why? Why what turns them on about these specific things and what type of mistress they're looking for, what type of demeanor is in their mistress, in their fantasies. I do a very thorough kind of interview. I start with it on the phone , and then we have more conversation when we meet in person before the actual session begins. By doing this, my subs and my clients, they know that they can trust me, they feel safe in my care. That's the only way that they can truly let go in a session is when they feel safe with the domme who is going to be mean and cruel to them.
If that's what they want, it's not always that. Sometimes it's a compassionate, sensual mistress, which those are all parts of who I am. I have I'm a very multidimensional, dimensional mistress, just as I am a multidimensional person, Woman. Those are all parts of who I am. I'm not just a one dimensional mistress. I can be very strict and cruel if I want to. It's a lot of fun for me. I'm also a very compassionate and very loving if that's what they bring out in me, if that's what they are looking for in a mistress. There's no topping from the bottom here. That's not what this is. I am a facilitator, I'm a healer, I am a light worker. That is the true role of a mistress and a dominatrix. Anyone who thinks not those things is doing something else besides light work. The name of my podcast is Lightworkers who play in the dark. And that refers to people like me, Dommes, who are lightworkers who I truly believe that BDSM is a healing art and that we are here to facilitate the furthering of people's growth and healing.
6. What are your goals and ambitions?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
My goals and ambitions are to serve the BDSM and kink community in such a way where I can bring back true female domination, traditional female domination. There is a risk of it becoming a lost art because of the internet. Because of all this bastardization that's out there right now, like the financial domination that's going on, all the kink porn that is, there's nothing wrong with kink porn but when people look at that and think that that is all what BDSM is and that's what they're learning. That's what they think that they are supposed to do to their clients and subs. Only then you know we're at a loss because that's not the whole of what it is, there's so much more. This is a deep bonding experience and relationship between mistress and slave. It's so much more than what you see online. Before the Internet, in order to find out what true BDSM is, you had to go do a session. Of course, there were always like magazines with photos and things like that.
There was nothing wrong with that, that wasn't hurting it. But nowadays, anyone, any woman or man, person, whatever, can slap the title of mistress, goddess, whatever, domina in front of their name and call themselves a mistress, which is very unfortunate. It's not right. The reason why I created the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy is to bring back true female domination and to breed a new generation and generations of Dommes who truly get it and who are going to be practicing the art of BDSM from this point of view of conscious FemDom, healing FemDom. Femdom, coming from a place of relationship and bonding and connection, I believe I'm doing it. There's already over 200 people so far, and I've run the academy only for two years, and there's already over 200 dommes who've gone through the academy. Not everyone has graduated. Not everybody has the goal of getting certified, but the certification list is up there already. It's like about 30 or so dorms all around the world. They are getting trained all around the world.
I have students in UK, Canada, Australia as well as of course, the US at the moment. I'm trying to reach out to other countries as well to train everyone. It's just amazing. The amazing community that we're building right now within the academy is just unbelievable. The Dommes are just top of the line, high quality, high caliber Dommes that are coming out of this academy. And I'm really, really proud of them. My goal is to populate the Earth with good Dommes. Then what happens after that? They will train good subs because there's not a lot of good subs out there anymore. Truly, the good subs, the true subs, the subs that are trained that know how to act like subs are the older generation. They're guys have been around for, you know, like around as long as me 20, 30 years. The subs that are out there now, they don't know how to act. They don't know how to act because they're not good, not enough good Dommes training them. When I train the Dommes, they become good Dommes. They train the subs, and then the world of kink and BDSM is enhanced with quality art people and connection.
7. Tell us more about the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
I've talked a little bit about the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy already. So what it is? It is a worldwide online academy where I teach conscious female domination to women who are interested in learning the true art form of FemDom and BDSM. This is the traditional art of femdom and the way that we've done it for over a century now. There's the rituals and protocols and the formality. It's all part of the art form and it is getting lost in this day and age where because the Internet is kind of badass, everyone on the Internet is, is sort of bastardizing the art form because they weren't trained by a mentor. I was trained by mentors. There are legendary Dommes in the community. I mentioned their names before Mistress Sabrina Belladonna and mistress Elsa Strix. They're no longer around but I was trained by them. They told me to pass down the art form and to continue to train Dommes. I'm honoring what they've requested of me by doing this. It is my true honor. It truly is my true honor to continue and pass down this art form and practice down to Dommes who want to learn this.
There's a whole bunch of lessons that I've created in the online selfstudy module. The selfstudy part portion of the Academy is a huge library of materials that I've created in those. There's lessons, there's videos, there's demos, there's interviews with my sub coaches, there's me reviewing the students demos. So there's a lot of critiquing that I do. Every week we meet online, live on a Zoom call where I do my live mentorship and I give personal attention to my students. If they're coming to me with a question or if they're coming to me with demos, I will critique their live demos and then everybody, all the students who are watching and listening will benefit from that. It's really, truly wonderful. It is the best gathering of dominant women that have ever, ever seen and so very proud of them.There's nothing like it. It's my happy place hanging out with my academy Dommes. It's my happy place.
8. What is conscious kink community exactly?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
I created Conscious Kink Community because I saw that there was a need for a social network platform that just had quality Kinksters in it who don't want to be bothered by all the fake Dommes out there, the imposters, the financial Dommes, who are just hitting up everybody on social media for money. It's a shame. I am the anti financial dom dom. There is such a thing as conscious, financial domination, ethical financial domination, but there's not a lot of it going on. You have to really find the ethical Dommes in order to practice this. And plus, it's not something you should advertise and just hit up somebody.
You're not supposed to come forward with the money aspect of it first. That's not what kink is. That's not what BDSM is. BDSM kink is about relating on that very deep level, you're relating on a level where you don't relate to most people in a very, very private part of your life. So it's not about money, and we get away from that. There's some negativity going on to on social media criticizing. There's patterns, politics, discussions and, arguments going on. We get away from all that and we just talk kink. We just want to be a real community. I welcome anyone who wants to join to come. It's consciouskinkcommunity.com and there is an application because we do a vetting process to make sure that we get the right type of people coming in and it's a $5 a month membership. We try and make it affordable. Yeah, come on in.
9. What is your favorite fetish and sex toy? What kind of punishments do you use?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
Oh, my gosh. My favorite fetish and sex toy. That's like trying to choose my, like, a favorite child. I have so many. But if I really have to pick. I love the Electro STEM Electra play unit. I love playing with that. I have several other brands that I use. They're all different and they're all good in different ways, you know? I have some metal CBT toys, metal and spiky CBT toys that I like a lot. I use a magic wand. It seems to work better than other vibrators It just does somehow. I like the rechargeable one. I have, the older version, you know, which is the plug in the wall one which I still keep around in case the other, the rechargeable one, isn't charged for some reason. What kind of a punishment that I use? I have a whole wall of implements, all kinds of whips and floggers and paddles . I have a big collection. Fom just being a collector for over two decades so I love them all. I have a lot of different crops as well.
10. Did you or do you have mistresses that inspired you?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
Well, the mistresses that inspired me are obviously my mentors, mistress Sabrina Belladonna and mistress Ilsa Strix. As I said before, I can't even describe. They are they are icons in the community they're legendary. They're no longer around. Sabrina Belladonna passed away several years ago, she was so special. Those who had the privilege of knowing her, she was truly, truly special. She was instrumental in many parts of my life. I remember asking her one day I was at a play party and she was just leaning against the shoes in the doorway of a room and I went up to her and I asked her, "How are you so graceful?" And she said, "Oh, it just comes with age". , I think that I've now probably surpassed the age that she was when I asked her that and that is true. A lot of that is true.
Comes with age and it comes with being a mistress all these years. It comes when you are a dom for a decade, two decades. It just in you that the queen and the goddess in you is there and it's always there. Sabrina was a true goddess, and so is Mistress Ilsa Strix, She's not passed on yet, but she's but retired from the community, lives a very private life and she's wonderful, wonderful mistress. I had the honor of having a session with her once. When I was a, uh, a new domme, I wanted to experience being in a session as a sub. So I asked her to do the session with me, for me and she did. It was a two hour session. She flogged me, caned me, put me in heavy bondage, just all that kind of stuff. I just wanted to experience it all, you know? I didn't feel like I could be a true domme unless I felt how it felt. I had an experience of how it felt to be on the other on the receiving end of all that. So it was a truly memorable experience. I remember driving away from that session just high as a kite, probably shouldn't been driving at that time. It was truly amazing. I've taken that tradition on with me, I have myself dominated many of my mentees and I still invite, they're still coming and they still want to come and be dominated by me. It's just truly a special experience and very beneficial learning experience as well.
10.2 Mistresses that inspired you, part two
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
I also want to add that the trust that I had with my mentors it's something I've never experienced. The trust level is so, so high, and that is why the Domination Session works so well between mentor-mentee and I have heard the same thing from my mentees. They have told me that. They just say that because they trust me so much that they are able to allow themselves to be dominated by me. You know what? The relationship that I have with my mentees, they're in my academy for at least six months. Most of them are in for longer, eight months a year. To have this ongoing relationship week after week is you really get to know one another. So it's really something truly special and that I treasure.
11. How can a client reach out to you?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
So how someone can reach out and apply for a BDSM session with me? By going to my sessions website, my BDSM sessions website. It's mistressdamianchi.com or they can go to my main website link tree which is Damianachiphd.com When they get into, there is like a pre application email form they just fill out that email form and then I will get back to them with an email. In the email there will be an application process. They will follow the application process which involves telling me a little bit about themselves, giving me referrals to other prodommes they have seen telling me about their interests and then they have to apply. They have to do a phone interview with me. It's a $50 fee to do a phone interview with me. The phone interview is very important, though, because that is the way that I can assess and they can assess, whether or not this would be a good fit. So after the phone interview, if I feel like, okay, this is a good fit, then they can send a deposit to book a date and time to do the session and that's it.
12. What can a client expect when they first meet you? What can a submissive do to get in your good graces?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
So what a client can expect when they first meet me? I'm very professional. That is the word that they describe me as when they first meet me. I'm very professional. I am in my domme mode already, you know. I meet them in my madame attire. When it's a first time client. We talk for a bit. We've already talked on the phone because I require a phone interview before all in person sessions but when we meet in person, we talk again. As I've said before, there's a kind of in depth conversation because I want to understand everything about them, everything that I need to know in order to give them a good experience.
They can expect to feel, greeted properly respected, that I'm going to be professional, but they still report and intimidation factor, which I think is natural. I think it's natural for them to still feel intimidated by a dominatrix because that's what I am, that's who I am. That dynamic is what they want anyway. How can I submissive get in my good graces? Respect number one and follow, following orders, showing me respect, showing me that they're going to follow all of my requests and do everything that I've asked. It's pretty much it. You know, it's easy to get in my good graces if you just act like a proper, respectful human being.
13. What is your personal motivation to work as a mistress?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
I have a lot of aspects of my work. As I've said,I am a dominatrix. I run it online, I run an academy, I'm a mentor, I'm a sexologist. I do all these things. But to answer your question, what is my personal motivation to work as a mistress is being a mistress. It's living my life as a lifestyle mistress and a professional mistress as well. Doing the actual sessions is what really, really drives me. It is what heals me on a daily basis. It's what I need in order to balance myself as a woman just like subs feel healed by receiving domination. I feel healed by dominating my subs. There's nothing like that energy exchange that you that is felt during a session.
It's like all those juicy neurochemicals are being produced in the brain and that's where I get turned on and that's where I get fired up and that's where I feel all of my feelings and passions and all those all that stuff comes out and also the other end of it, relaxed. I feel more relaxed and worshiped and at ease like, there's no other place where I feel all of those things. I will never stop being a mistress. That's who I am. I will never stop doing BDSM scenes. I will never stop having personal slaves. And it's just the greatest life I can ever imagine.
14. What do you like to do in spare time?
* Click and listen to Mistress Damiana Chi response *
Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D. says:
Spare time is something I don't have a lot of because when I'm not in the mistress portion of my life, I am a mom. I have two teenage girls who keep me very, very busy. It's a very fulfilling life. I run a very, very busy household at home and I have a big home with two teenage girls who have friends over all the time. I don't just have two children. It's kind of like I always have like ten and my home is welcome to all of them. I'm that kind of the mom of because I'm used to being in the leadership position. I like to run a dungeon. I like to run a household. It's just a very, very fulfilling life. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Oxy-shop would like to thank Mistress Damiana Chi for taking her time to answer questions. It was a pleasure to have you on our Mistress Interview. Hope to work with you again in the future!