01-27-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


Some of the Best Kept Secrets to Sub Drop Recovery

Ever been in a situation where you just had an explosive kinky experience with your partner, your emotions are all high, then a few hours or a day later, you can't seem to understand why you have an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and depression? Sigh. You were in a sub drop.


If you are coming across this term for the first time or you've heard of it before but do not understand what it entails, read this article to find out everything about sub drops and how to recover from sub drops by practising proper sub drop aftercare.


sub drop aftercare


WHAT IS SUB DROP?


Sub drop is the body’s response to the sudden drop of hormones in the body after a play session. The endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxy-tocin (The idea of where the name of our shop came from) , released during BDSM play that causes subspace, leave your body and it takes time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system. The physical and emotional reaction to the withdrawal of those hormones causes sub drop. You may feel emotions ranging from depression, sadness, frustration. In fact, you may even experience  flu-like symptoms.


Sub drop can be said to be similar to withdrawal from hard substances. It can get that bad. They are also known to be more common in committed and long-term relationships than casual sex relationships.


Symptoms of Sub Drop


The range of symptoms of Sub Drop is usually vast and unique to each person. Although most of the symptoms are physical in nature, there are emotional symptoms as well. Take a look at some of them:

1. Physical Symptoms


  • Fatigue
  • Crying
  • Aches and pains
  • Stomach aches
  • Cold hands and/or feet
  • Stiffness
  • Cravings for sweets
  • Chills
  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • General malaise

2. Emotional Symptoms


  • Sadness or melancholy
  • Anxiety
  • Agitation
  • Depression
  • Fear
  • Confusion
  • Guilt
  • Shame


HOW TO PREVENT SUB DROP (BEFORE CARE)


There are things you can do to help you prevent some or all of the symptoms of sub drop. Check them out:

  • First, make sure you've had a decent meal before play. We recommend a light high protein, low carbohydrate, lots of vegetables and plenty of water about an hour before the scene.
  • If you are fit and healthy, stretch before play. It warms the muscles and prepares your body for the stress you will be putting it under. If you are not fit and healthy, do a light bit of cardio like running in place for 5 minutes and then stretch. Yoga can also help prepare your body for the intense sensations you might experience.
  • Check your mood. If you are already feeling down, stressed, or just not right, we advise that you postpone play. If you do decide to go ahead, these feelings might escalate during sub drop.
  • Lastly, be aware that it can happen. So get your mind ready. Hydration helps your mood so have water at hand, fast sugars like orange juice or candy, a blanket and make sure you have someone to snuggle or talk to if your Dom isn't available.


Tips for Subdrop Aftercare


  • First, submissives should be more responsible for their aftercare. Not all dominants give aftercare. If you are lucky enough to be able to negotiate aftercare, good for you. But, if you're not, you need to step up and take care of your needs. Do not blame the sub drop or lack in aftercare on someone else. Besides, your Dom could be experiencing Dom drop too and might need to fend for themselves too.

Before we continue, here is what Hans West, a BDSM coach on Quora said on sub-drops taking responsibility for their aftercare.

“Some Dom(me)s do not like to give aftercare and in these cases, it might be important that you take care of yourself and create a network that helps you to take care of your aftercare. Aftercare can be outsourced (also important for the Dom(me) to not step into the pitfall of perfectionism and hide the fact that you are not good at it).”

  • Treat your physical needs first. Bandages, blankets, and beverages. Replenish the fluids you lost and treat yourself carefully. Get enough rest too.
  • In the days following your sub drop aftercare, if you feel down or sad, get enough sleep, enjoy your personal time and recover. However, be careful not to stay too long in solitude. Follow up with the dom you played with if you can. If not, you may hang out with an understanding friend. The key is to not lock yourself out. You need to get out and remind yourself that you had fun and this is just an after effect of it.
  • Also, it is important to note that you should kick any form of shame about dropping in the face. No matter how much experience you have, you may drop. Even if you haven't had a sub drop in years, a particularly intense scene could make you drop and that's okay.
  • Lastly, it might help you to have all your needs for sub drop together in a central location. This is called a drop kit. You can put it together before you play or have a dedicated bag for sub drop recovery. What you put in it depends on what you need to feel better after play. Blankets, teddies, and Gatorade are common. Pain meds, journal, phone card, sentimental bits and bobs and more.
subdrop aftercare


FAQS


● HOW DO I DEAL WITH SUB DROP AS A DOM?


One way to deal with your sub's drop as a dom is to put extra effort in making sure they feel loved and supported. Extra calls and messages when you can't be around them will go a long way. You could also add some more aftercare activities and communicate with your partner to know when they need to be alone or need attention.


● HOW LONG DOES A SUB DROP LAST?


A sub drop could begin anywhere from a few hours to a few days and may even last up to weeks.



CONCLUSION


The truth is sub drop is a hard phase. But it doesn't have to be so bad everytime it happens. With enough preparation and knowledge of proper sub drop aftercare, you can embrace the experience, learn from the emotions you feel and mitigate the effects of the next episode of sub drop. Goodluck and take care!

Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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