Obey her

Ah, she wanted to play. She wasn’t planning to go out; she’d dressed up to do the mistress and submissive thing. He liked the idea and felt a twitch down below but that was an occasional fantasy game for the weekends. He’d had a long day at work, his mind was still on the company’s financial problems he’d been working on all day. The idiot Finance Director had let things slide, she wasn’t up to her job. But blamed him. And Fiona his boss, was no better. Over-promoted and over-aggressive. He needed to wind down and have a drink: long and alcoholic. “That’s a lovely idea, darling, but let’s wait till Friday, shall we?”

Her foot tapped a constant beat like a distant war drum. “I said, sissy, you will call me Mistress Elena.” She held up a chrome chastity cage in one finger. He hadn’t seen that before, where on earth had it come from? She twisted it around on the end of her finger, the thin metal bars glinted as it spun. “And before you put on a pretty pink sissy miniskirt, I’m going to lock away your cute little sissy clitty. Cute but too small.”

His penis twitched again and grew semi-hard at her words. They had uncovered a fun sex game and the female domination thing was a massive turn-on. Female domination was obviously just a game, it wasn’t real life which is what made it so much fun. It had been Elena’s idea a few weeks ago to reinvigorate their sex life after twelve years of marriage and worked wonders. It was as if they were newlyweds again. Actually, better. He didn’t remember ever getting this sexually excited.

She walked towards him, her heels clipped on the floor like someone knocking on his inner intimate door. She put out a long slim hand and took his. She closed her wide blue eyes and kissed him with a short peck on the lips. He stared at her in a mix of desire and anticipation as she opened her eyes, their noses almost touching.

“I sent you a text, sissy. I told you Mistress wants you home and to lock little Princess Clitty away and get you dressed in pretty pink girlie clothes. Remember, sissy?”

He’d read the text but hadn’t taken a lot of notice. The finance girl had presented the quarterly results and he’d needed to focus. The numbers weren’t as good as expected: that was an understatement. Yeah sure he’d overspent his budget but who’s fault was that? No his.

“Yes, yes,” he said. “I read the text but I’ve been busy, my mind was elsewhere on people’s failures. Let me get changed into jeans and tee shirt, grab a beer and we can have a chat about the ‘game’.” He emphasised the word game to make a point; it had a time and a place and a cold, wet Monday evening was neither. Especially after having to deal with those two female fools in the office. Sometimes he felt as if he was the only competent one there.

Slap. He gasped and put a hand to his cheek, his mouth in a perfect O. Elena had slapped him across the cheek. Her face glared stern and then melted into a cute smile. “Were you so busy, sissy, that you forgot what we agreed yesterday?”

His mind whirled, seeking the memory. Oh yes, that. He’d forgotten he’d promised in the heat of passion he’d be a sissy at home every evening and treat her as his mistress. The pretend domination thing was where he could let go for a couple of hours from his male responsibilities. But it was just that. And his promise was just due to the passion and the moment of the game. “I was hot and excited,” he said. “It was the game.” He watched her cool eyes and his face dropped at her hard expression. “Wasn’t it?”

Elena’s perfect smooth forehead creased in what appeared to be annoyance. “It was no game, sissy, we agreed. It starts today.” Her smile reappeared. “You’re going to be my submissive girly and I’m your Mistress. And we agreed I would spank you when you’re a naughty girl which you’re very close to being.”

Paul’s eyes flowed over his wife’s towering 5ft 10in long lithe body, now six-two in the heels. A single dress strap hung over a well-defined shoulder and the front of her black dress lay diagonally over her massive firm breasts. Her other shoulder was bare and her skin light and smooth. The dress hugged her body tight and held in large firm sexy breasts that looked like they were fighting to escape. His attention was drawn as always to her cleavage; he never tired of that view. He remained in awe of what a stunning wife he had. Statuesque and stunning. She’d given up her career for him. Naturally.

Elena ran a hand through thick blond hair that fell waving halfway down her slim back. She flicked her fringe from huge blue eyes with a touch of smoky blue shading on large lids and black mascara on her long eyelashes. His penis was bursting hard against the front of his trousers. He was weakening. She wanted to play and was hooked. “OK, Mistress,” he said

“Good girl. Remove your clothes.”

He was still on the front mat. “Here? By the front door?”

“Here. You’re to wear only sissy clothes at home from now. Or nothing. No man clothes past the front door.”

She was damn good at this, that’s why it was such a great game. What other husband had a hot sexy wife who wanted to play sex games as soon as they walked in the front door? He removed his damp jacket, bent and laid it on the floor. His tiredness had dissipated and the profit and loss numbers and the useless office women gone from his mind.

“Everything off, sissy girl. I want to strip you of all masculinity.”

He was now as hard as a rock. He unbuttoned his shirt so fast he would have ripped the buttons if it hadn’t been such high quality. He dropped it at his feet and Elena ran a splayed hand over his defined muscular hairy chest.

“You’ll need to depilate, baby, I can’t have my girly sissy with manly body hair.”

He nodded rapidly. He was ready to hump his wife into next weekend. Maybe that’s what Fiona and the idiot finance woman needed too. He’d done that to the HR lady and it had worked a treat. That was before right before Elena had introduced their femdom game.

“And sissies don’t have muscles,” Elena said, “because they’re girly princesses.” She ran a finger over his bicep. “Girlies have slim weak arms. No more gym for you, sissy.”

He ripped at his trouser belt and pulled his zip down. His trousers fell to his ankles and he kicked his shoes and socks off and kicked everything away across the floor. He straightened and flexed his shoulders. Elena’s eyes fell on the tented front of his boxer shorts.

“I see Princess Clitty is excited.” She looked up at him, her eyes smouldering. “Take the nasty male underwear off this minute, girl. You won’t be wearing that any more. Pretty panties and lingerie for you, my girly.”

He tugged down his underpants so fast he almost tripped. “No, Mistress. Only sissy panties.”

Elena was great at this game, a natural. He’d never realised she had it in her. His penis stood out in the cool hallway air, hard and erect.

“I need Princess Clitty to be soft. She has to be locked away, like a good little sissy clitty.”

His erection strained further at her words.

“Wait here, girly. And don’t touch little Princess. It’s no longer allowed.”

Elena strode to the kitchen, her heels clicking on the hard surface. She looked  more confident when they played this game. She disappeared and he heard the freezer door open and a drawer slide open. He’d not wanted sex when he stepped in the door but he sure as hell was desperate now. What a lucky man he was to have a hot wife like Elena. She stayed at home looking pretty and keeping the house for him. What more could he ask for?

He stood self-consciously naked with a raging erection at the front door waiting for his wife to reappear from whatever she was up to. Rain beat against the door from outside and a deep rumble of thunder sounded from the distance. He hoped she wouldn’t be long as he was keen to have sex.

At that moment, she strutted out of the kitchen, a bowl of ice cubes in her hand that chinked against the metal container. She walked up to him, grabbed his erection and plunged it into the ice. He squealed like a cat in pain and fell back against the door. That stung and his erection went down in an instant. Elena placed the bowl on the floor as if nothing had happened, pushed the metal chastity cage over his flaccid penis, clamped it together, pushed a small key into the lock, turned it and stood back.

“Hey, Elena, that wasn’t nice.” She’d gone too far with that little trick. Not cool.

Slap. His face shot to one side. “You’ll address me as Mistress Elena or face a severe spanking with my wooden spanker, sissy.”

She’d taken this game a lot further than they’d ever played before. The slaps around the face and especially the ice cubes on his erection were something new. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or not and his clamped penis still stung and his cheek felt hot. He shifted on his bare feet in discomfort. Something told him he’d enjoyed what she’d just done more than he should have.

Elena glared and pointed a long finger up the stairs. He looked and remained frozen to the spot. She leaned back, one hand behind her. She suddenly swung it round and connected with one cheek of his bare bottom with a loud crack. Paul jumped. That was odd. They’d played spanking but it had always been within the staged game and he knew it was coming. She’d now spanked him without warning. She was adding stuff to their game fast. Maybe she was giving it more spice and that’s never a bad thing. He had to play along and see where she was taking this, it might be fun. He told himself to go with it. She was supposed to play the dominant so let her be dominant and lead to wherever they they were headed sexually.

He bowed a little to his wife and said, “I apologise, Mistress Elena.”

Her face relaxed into a softer look. She stroked the side of his head. “Good girl.” She pointed to the stairs again. “But I’ll expect a curtsey next time, not a bow. Remember. You’re a sissy now.”

He grimaced and slopped to the stairs and walked upstairs towards their bedroom. Elena followed. “Mmmmm.” she mumbled.

He stopped and turned. “What is it?” He said then remembered the game. “Mistress Elena.”

“Seeing you walking upstairs reminded me,” she said

“Yes.”

Your sissy vagina needs a cock-shaped dildo in it and then filled with a big butt plug.”

His jaw dropped. What had happened to the discussions they used to have on what to add to the game? This was all one way. He wasn’t sure he wanted anything inserted in his behind. Elena was taking this dominant thing way too seriously.

Chapter Two:

Elena sat on the edge of their queen-sized bed. Paul stood naked before her except for the metal cage around his penis. She looked him up and down and swung her head from side to side as if contemplating something.

He looked past her feeling extremely self-conscious. Rain continued to fall heavily against the window and the thunder rumbled closer. Inside it was warmer and the room clean and orderly. The light-blue patterned bed duvet was smooth and thick and the pillows at the other end were fluffed up and brilliant white.

His wife smirked at his cage. His erection was stifled inside the thin metal bars and he hoped this wouldn’t go on too long as he was desperate to have sex with her. This game was wonderful even though he hadn’t expected it tonight not guessed she’d take it a step further.

Elena put a finger and a thumb on the cage and he shivered at the thought of so near yet so far. She dropped her hand to his balls, cupped them, and put her head to one side. This was exquisite torture; a lovely tease.

“Is Princess Clitty frustrated, baby? Does she want sex with Mistress Elena?” Her voice went into a baby talk style and she pursed her lips provocatively.

This was going on too long. “Are you going to unlock me now?” He tried to keep the edge of annoyance from his voice. This was fun but he was impatient.

She squeezed his balls. It was a little too much. “Ow, Elena. Be careful.”

She didn’t look up but continued to hold his balls tight; uncomfortable but there was something interesting in the pressure he couldn’t describe. “Be careful please, Mistress,” he said although it wasn’t as if he didn’t enjoy the faint discomfort from her grip.

She was taking this too far all the same. She looked up at him and gave him a smile full of enjoyment. He saw she was getting off on her control over him; he hadn’t expected her to like this dynamic quite so much. It was OK for a short game but not real life.

At that moment she let go of his balls and he breathed out long and hard in relief. “And to answer your question, sissy, I’m going to unlock you in a minute but not for sex.”

“For what?” he said and then remembered to add, “Mistress Elena.” He may as well play along a little longer, things were bound to get more interesting and intimate in a while.

“Good girl.” She pulled his caged penis to one side and then the other. “But after I’ve finished tidying Princess, I’ll lock her away again for some time, baby.” She seemed almost in a trance. “Days, maybe. Weeks. Let’s see.”

Now what was she on about? Tidy? And as for locking him away, she had to be joking, she could have been an actress. He never realised. They’d never played anything as extreme as this before. She’d spank him, call him a naughty sissy and that was about it. This was exciting but he felt uncomfortable with her dressed and him naked with his penis locked away. It was a discomfort that was humiliating, especially calling his cock a Princess. But it was oddly exciting. He’d let it play out a little longer before calling a halt to things.

She suddenly jumped up. “You have far too much body hair for a sissy. Wait here, sweetheart.” She shot to their en-suite bathroom and he heard her banging in the bathroom cabinet drawers. What had got into her this evening? She’d never taken the game this far before. He heard her running the water into something.

She returned with her pink hand razor and a can of feminine shaving gel held precariously in the crook of one arm, a small bowl of water in her other hand and a hand towel over her arm. He watched in curiosity as she put the bowl carefully on the floor, the razor on the bed to one side and the towel over his bare feet. She sat back down on the bed.

She tugged him sharply towards her by his chastity cage. He groaned in fake protest but it didn’t hurt. He liked the feeling of her pulling him roughly by his penis and how she’d stretched it away from his body. These were new sensations. Maybe Elena was on to something in deciding to push the game along a little more than usual.

She unlocked his cage and placed it beside her. His erection grew instantly and he gazed at her wide kind face and thick blond tumbling hair. His erection notched up another ratchet.

“Ooooh, I see you like being my sissy, sweetie,” she said. Her lips tightened and pursed in approval of his reaction.

A sudden cold chill hit his balls. Elena splashed water around his genitals. “What?” he squealed.

She didn’t answer. Her head was down and she squirted the female-branded shaving gel onto two fingers and slapped it around and over his balls, over his pubic hair and between his legs and under his balls.

“What are you doing?”

“Making Princess tidy, like I told you.” She lathered gel over his balls, crotch, pubic hair and along his erection and he stopped complaining. Her gel-covered fingers worked magically. She picked up the hand razor, held his erection by the now exposed sensitive end with her other hand and slid the razor down through the blue-white foamed gel from below his belly to the top of his erection and part-way along.

He shivered with unexpected tingling sensations and her fingers on his penis head. Elena smirked. “Mistress needs to get rid of all your nasty man hair, baby girl. And she doesn’t want to cut Princess Clitty so keep still, sissy.”

He wanted to tell her not to call him baby girl but the attention his wife was giving his erection and around his balls with the gel and razor took his breath away. He looked at where she was concentrating and saw she’d removed a razor-head width of pubic hair above his penis. This was madness. A hellishly incredible sexy madness.

“Mistress wants her sissy girl looking tidy, pretty and girly.” Her voice was smooth and as soft as maple syrup. It hypnotised him as she sounded dreamy and sexy.

His penis was harder than he could ever remember. He closed his eyes and let her fingertips and razor rove gently over his balls, penis and around his crotch as she shaved him clean. He thought he might burst into a massive orgasm but her touch was not enough, a tease that kept him on edge. She dabbed at his genitals with the towel to dry them and sat back with a devious grin. She stroked his smooth baby-like skin and nodded.

He looked like a young boy again down there – hairless. He hadn’t seen his crotch area like that for decades.

She let go of his erection. “Princess needs to go flaccid again so Mistress can put her away.”

His mind was a whirl of sensations and feelings. How could she know he loved this? Even he would never have guessed. Elena was pushing buttons he never knew he had. He rubbed his forehead with the back of a hand to try to clear his mind. He should be pushing her away but she’d ensnared him. Calling his penis Princess, calling herself Mistress, calling him a sissy girl. Only words and they should anger him, not make him excited and weak. She was controlling him and he didn’t mind for the first time in their marriage.

Elena got up again and went to the large light oak four-drawer drawer unit on the other side of the bedroom and opened the bottom drawer. She leaned down to retrieve some items. Damn, she was sexy, he thought as he ogled her bottom and long legs.

She stood and walked back, her arms full of pink clothes. “Let’s lock Princess away again and then I’ll put you in these pretty sissy clothes.”

These were new too, he’d never seen them before. The idea she’d been planning this shot through his mind. It was not a great thought.

Elena laid the clothes out on the bed. A pleated miniskirt with a wide elastic waistband in pink checks, a light pink tee-shirt with Princess written across the front in darker pink and thick white hold-up stockings with two small pink bows on the tops.

He stared. He opened his mouth and shut it again. “You can’t be serious.”

She looked at the sissy clothes and back at him. She had a faint smile as she put her head to one side. “I’m very serious, sissy sweetheart. Let’s get you dressed but first the chastity cage, we can’t have Princess on the loose, can we, baby?”

Chapter Three:

Elena stroked the smooth skin around his one more time and nodded again in satisfaction. She picked up the metal chastity cage and pushed it onto his erection. It was too tight to fit. She tried to twist it on and he squealed as it rubbed against his sensitive swollen penis head. Her pushing at it made him lose the hardness. It was what she wanted and enough for her to slip it over the shrinking penis. She clamped it locked. The key was on a small metal chain she put it over her head and around her neck. The little key fell between her cleavage.

A huge clap of thunder and a flash of lightning came instantly, shaking the room. Elena ignored the weather and hummed as she pulled the tee shirt over his head and down over his chest. He didn’t fight against her. He decided once she’d had her fun, she’d be so turned on, she’d unlock him and they’d have the most passionate sex ever. Even better than he had in the little meeting room after work with the HR lady. What was her name?

Elena pulled each thick white stocking on, lifting his compliant foot and rolling them up his legs. “Once Mistress has shaved the nasty man hairs off your legs, you can have sexy light stockings, sissy.”

She was funny. Shaved legs like a girl indeed. She was good.

Elena’s hands flowed over his legs as she straightened the stockings. He swooned and felt faint with desire. His penis rammed hard against its metal cage. It was going nowhere just yet but he was sure they were only a few minutes from sex.

“And last my pretty sissy, a cute little skirt for a cute little girl.”

He stepped back. “A pink miniskirt is a step too far, darling.”2

She scowled. Don’t be ridiculous, what else should a submissive sissy wear? Army trousers?” She giggled as she manoeuvred the skirt under one leg, then the other, and pulled it up to his waist. He didn’t stop her. He hated it and loved it in equal measure.

He thought he might faint; his penis was locked and loaded but had nowhere to unload. The skirt brushing around the top of his thighs was intoxicating. He scanned the bed for underwear but there was none. Cool air flowed around his bare bottom and balls. It was an interesting sensation, better than being enclosed in boxer shorts. All the same, it was odd she’d not put him in panties as she’d threatened when he first came home.

Elena’s face was radiant.”You look wonderful, sissy.” Her face frowned in thought. “But I can’t call you Paul now.” She thought again. “It’s obvious. You’re now Paula.” She broke into loud giggles.

As exciting as this game had become, he realised he felt ridiculous. A forty-five-year-old businessman dressed in pink sissy clothes with his penis locked away by his wife and now she wanted to call him Paula.

At that moment, the sound of a phone ringing came from downstairs. It was his, he’d left it in his jacket pocket.

“Stay here, Paula, I’ll go and get it.”

Before he could disagree with her calling him Paula, she got up and strutted downstairs. He heard her take two stairs at a time and down to the hall. He heard Elena answer, “Hello, Elena here.” There was a few moments of silence. Then, “Yes, no problem. Now is fine. Paula’s almost ready.”

Did she say, Paula’s almost ready? Surely not, he must have misheard. Her voice was faint from downstairs.

Elena’s heels clipped to the stairs and she came back up. She appeared at the bedroom doorway.

She stopped,  looking innocent. He saw her face crack into amusement as her eyes flowed up and down his body.

“Who was it?” he said. “What did they want?”

She put her head to one side again and her hands out on either side to the door frame. She looked great, he thought, if only he wasn’t caged, he’d lead her to their bed and give her what she was delaying.

“That was Fiona.”

“Fiona? My boss from work? The vice president? What did she want?” The mention of his hard-nosed boss made his ardour fall several notches. She was in her fifties but fit, assertive and attractive physically. If there was a level above alpha-female, that would be her. A turn off then.

“She said she’s worried about the quarterly finances presented today. She wants to discuss it with you.”

Elena was annoying him, she was taking this too far. “Yes, I’m worried too. Why didn’t you bring the phone up so I could speak to her?”

Elena pulled her arms down and walked towards him, one elegant foot in front of the other as if walking on a tightrope but with her arms swinging freely. She stopped inches from him and raised her eyebrows. “Because, Paula sweetie, I’m too busy turning you into my submissive sissy.”

Desperation flowed through him. The game was fun but he needed to sort out the work problems. He’d have to phone Fiona now and get this sorted out. “I’m going to get my phone.” He tried to push past her.

Her hand shot under his little skirt and she clamped it around his balls and squeezed. He froze. Again, it was hard enough for him to wince but there was an odd electricity that shot through his body at her grip.

“Stop, Paula or I squeeze harder. And don’t worry your pretty little head, Fiona said she doesn’t want to discuss it on the phone, she’ll talk to you in person.”

That was good news. It couldn’t be so bad after all that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow. He relaxed. He could play along with Elena’s game for the evening and, eventually, get the hot sex he was busting for. He hoped it wasn’t going to be much longer although the chastity cage and mini skirt were strangely exhilarating and it wouldn’t be a chore to wear them a little longer this evening after all.

Elena had wandered over to her mysteriously full bottom drawer again. She pulled out a wide black leather belt. His eyes widened to see a fake rubber penis attached to the front.

“What the hell?” he spluttered.

Elena pulled down her dress smoothly and stepped out of it. He gasped to see her standing in a white bra, panties, stockings and high heels. He thought he might faint in awe of his sexy wife.

She did the belt up around her waist and the fake penis was like a rock-hard erection poking from the front. He swallowed. “What the hell?” he repeated.

“Things are going to change around here, Paula sweetie.” She approached him.

“What are you on about, Elena? This is getting out of hand.” His eyes fell on a tube in her left hand. Lubricating gel, he read silently.

“Mistress is going to penetrate her sissy, sweetie. Now bend over like a good girl and relax.”

His eyes widened further at her words. “That is not going to fit in my backside. It’s too big.”

“I beg to differ and I think if you just relax and go with it, you’ll enjoy it, sweetheart. Anyway, it’s not your backside but a sissy vagina.” Her voice was soft and gentle and her face sweet and innocent. She was anything other than being nasty, he thought. Maybe he might enjoy it. He screwed up his face. “OK.” She’d pushed him into a few new things tonight.

“Listen, sweetie,” she cooed. “Bend over, let me put some lubricating gel around your sissy vagina and I will press my girl cock against it. I promise not to hurt you, darling sissy, and I think you’re going to enjoy it. A sissy needs her mistress to penetrate her.”

He was confused. He’d rather she’d discussed this with him. On the other hand, he loved her taking command and instigating a whole range of new experiences. Every one so far had been exciting. Why not, he told himself.

He looked to the ceiling, turned and bent, his hand on the end of the bed, his bottom facing her. He jumped as cool gel hit his behind. Her fingers flicked around his anus and one popped inside. She’d never put her finger there before but it was not unpleasant. Maybe this might work, he thought.

He felt the end of the fake penis press against his anus. He tightened without thinking.

“Relax, sissy baby. Relax.” Her soft words flowed over him, her hands stroked his bottom cheeks. She pushed a little more against him and the pressure of the end of the fake penis was firmer.

She was right, it wasn’t unpleasant. Another push and it slipped in half an inch. Not so bad, Nothing happened for a moment. Then an almost imperceptible increase in pressure and it slipped in another half an inch. He felt her press and it slipped in a little more and he felt the outline of the end of the penis head.

“How it is, sissy baby?” Elena cooed as her hands rested lightly on his hips.

She’d been right again. He squirmed in delight at the humiliation of his wife penetrating him but also from the sensations around where the dildo was partly in.

She moved it a little back and forth and in and out but only an inch or so. Then, she withdrew it. He breathed out not realising he’d been holding his breath. His anus hole tingled as if the rubber penis was still in him.

He stood and turned. Elena had dressed again. She took his hand. “Next time, I’ll go a little deeper. A bit at a time. Mistress doesn’t want to hurt her sissy baby.”

She may be good at the dominant wife thing but under it all she was still sweet Elena.

She took his hand. “Let’s go downstairs, Paula sweetie, and get a snack or something.”

He was hungry for something else. “Aren’t we going to play a bit more and then once we’ve had sex, we can eat then.”

“No honey, we’ll eat first. I want to look at you like this.” Her eyes roved over his white stockings and little sissy skirt.

He tingled at her gaze. She must want him to wait, that would make it even better when they finally did get down to it.

He let her lead him downstairs and to the hall, finding new sensations as the soft skirt rubbed his balls and upper thighs. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of being ridiculous dressed this way and his bottom still tingled from her penetration. That had been unexpected, as had everything she’d done tonight. They got to the hall and the doorbell rang.

She gripped his hand harder and broke into a massive smile, her teeth glinted perfect and white. His stomach turned at her beauty and then he looked at the door in horror. Through the small frosted glass window at the top of the door, he saw a distorted head with large brown hair. It couldn’t be.

Elena reached for the door and swung it open. Fiona his boss stood glowering at him. “Excellent,” she said looking at his skirt and strode in.

Paul backed away, his hands over his skirt where his chastity cage suddenly felt tight. His stomach hit the floor in horror, his jaw dropped as if the muscles had been cut. He thought his legs might give way.

“So, Paula,” Fiona said as Elena stepped away and looked on in delight.

“Paula?” he said, how did you know?” He looked at Elena. She’d only just made that name up.

“Yes, Paula,” said Fiona. “Elena and I have been speaking. It’s not just the finance numbers I want to talk to you about, but your behaviour at work. I see that’s not likely to be a problem again now your darling wife has seen to that problem.” Her eyes fell on the outline of his chastity cage.

Paul’s mouth went dry. The evening was a series of shocks.

“But first,” said Fiona. “Elena and I will go to the living room. You will bring us a gin and tonic while we discuss you,” She glared. “Paula.”