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10-07-2022 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


7 surprising BDSM ideas for LDR Couples (2022)


With the current trend of more couples living in different countries/cities, it is now easier than ever to keep a long distance relationship alive with a bit of creativity & technology. We have compiled some of the simplest ways for you and your partner to stay connected & intimated. 


LDR in a BDSM relationship is even easier than a vanilla one, roles are dictated and the mental aspect of the game plays an important role rather than the physical one. In order to keep the spark alive, couples have to find different ways to express themselves sexually. 


BDSM relationships are often based on trust, communication, and negotiation. When you're in a long-distance BDSM relationship, you have to rely on these things even more. 


There are plenty of long distance relationship ideas to keep the sexual tension high and spice up those lonely nights!


Bondage in Long distance relationships

1. Upgrade the Sexting game, videos & photos 


One of the best ways to keep your BDSM relationship going strong is to use technology to your advantage. But first, make sure you're both on the same page about what your expectations are for the relationship. Do you want to check in with each other every day? Once a week? Establishing a clear communication schedule will help prevent any misunderstandings or private life overstepping. 


Once you've got that sorted, there are lots of fun ways to stay connected and keep the spark alive. If you're both into text-based play, send each other teasing messages throughout the day to build anticipation. If you're more visual, consider using video chat to get up close and personal, even if it's just for a quick session. And don't forget about sexting! It's a great way to keep things hot when you can't be together in person.

Long distance BDSM relationship

Some messages out of the blue with a picture and written “i want you to come home and jerk off to this”for example, are often welcome. 


Getting on a video call and masturbating together makes you feel close and intimate, making a memorable experience. Commenting and bringing your imagination to play is primordial to arousing your partner. Tell him/her what you would do if you were together, build up and imagine a scene she/he could picture. 


The possibilities for sexting are limitless, let your imagination run wild.
For example, a dom could text their sub and ask them to send a photo of themselves bound. Once the sub has done so, the dom can create a story telling them how they would tease on the sub's body while they're restrained.


Love needs words, write them to keep the relationship alive, both emotionally & sexually. 



2. Denial & Orgasm Control


If you're in a long distance relationship, you may find it difficult to maintain the same level of sexual intimacy that you enjoyed when you were together in person. However, there are ways to keep the fire burning, even from afar.


In a BDSM LDR, one way to maintain intimacy in a long distance relationship is through orgasm control. It is a great way to dominate a partner & build anticipation. If you know your partner is really horny but can't have sex right away, try edging them during a video chat session or over the phone. This will help them stay aroused while also prolonging their pleasure until they can finally relieve themselves.


If the sub can maintain himself/herself for a certain amount of time, a reward or a punishment in case of failure is mandatory.

This power-play will require a lot of communication, so be sure to keep the lines of communication open with your partner. This way, you can ensure that everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.

There are numerous toys which can help to that purpose - most of which, that we will see later on in this article. Such as the Cellmate device, the little devil shock collar or the Keypod. 


Some more basic toys can be used - for example an acrylic lock box where a key can be put on and a plastic lock attached. The plastic lock is a zip tie which must be broken in order to open the box. By this means, the Dom can verify the keys are still inside and the lock not broken while the sub stays bound - either in a chastity device or other restraints. 

This type of box can be combined with a timer lock - an electronic lock which opens up only when time runs out depending on the setup. 


A variety of key containers serve the same purpose, being locked with a way to control - keeping temptation at bay. At oxy, we provide 3D printed key containers, Steel or Gold versions. 


Lock box for LDR BDSM couples

3. Sending tasks to be done 

In a LDR with a BDSM aspect, a creative Dom can set up and send tasks to the sub - This could be sexual or not, the idea beeing to make the relationship more exciting and the tasks memorable. Building memories together by bonding in the dark side - How about that? 


After a task is sent, it is good to couple it with a timeframe and a reward or punishment.


BDSM ideas for LDR couples

Examples of tasks:

  •  Surprise your Sub asking them to send you a picture of 6 random objects they have laying around. Don’t tell them what for and assign a number to each item. Think of 6 different tasks and number them. Then, tell your Sub to roll a die twice, first time will give you the object and second time it will give you the task to perform with it. Examples of tasks could be: a few spanks, ass training, wearing something to go outside… You can get as creative as you want!
  • Make your Sub go to their regular grocery store and ONLYbuy a big long zucchini and lube. Make them stop and chat if they see someone they know at the store, that will make them sweat for sure.
  • Ask them to write a poem for you. You can punish them if the poem is very very bad.
  • Be in charge of what your Sub wears: You can pick from a few options they present to you every morning/night before and have the final saying over their outfit. You can even add a little extra touch of your own, like a nice little ribbon tied around their balls (if they have them).
  • Text them goofy tasksthroughout the day that you both will enjoy, like going to the toilet at work and writing their Dom’s name all over them under their clothes. You will both go on for the day with the image in your head and the thrilling feeling that nobody else knows.
  • Make your Sub attend an online meeting while on a video call with you. You can do anything to make them nervous and arouse them while they have to focus on their meeting and are not allowed to stop looking at the video call.

If the sub is into chastity, a time to get locked up could be a task given. If failing to perform a task, the sub can be requested to spank himself on a video call.
Coupling technology and tasks is a great way to make you feel close to each other. 


Side note:oxy-shop provides a service managed by Mistress Elena. For only 50$ per month, you can apply for solo play or as a couple. You will receive a set of tasks which will be monitored - all in to spice up and reinforce your own relationship. 



4. Self Bondage


In some of the BDSM relationships, bondage can play an important role to exert control or surrender to it. In a LDR, it can be problematic as the dom may not be there to tie up the sub.


However, The sub can use their expertise and skills to create bondage displays that show their dom the level of anticipation they are feeling.

The dom can also guide and instruct the sub on how to properly tie up via video calls or written instructions.

It's a great idea to start with some basic knot techniques using soft rope.


Having a sub tied up and ready for whatever their dom wants gives them the perfect fantasy, and hearing about what the dom would do to their sub if they were restrained is exciting for the sub.


At oxy we provide pre-tied ropesfor an easy experience - even possible to bound yourself without the help of a rigger. 



5. Remote controlled toys 

Thanks to technological evolution, in particular a company has been standing out in the BDSM game: Qiui. Distributed by oxy-shop here.


They are at the hedge of innovation by creating app controlled devices which perfectly serve the purpose of a BDSM LDR.

All devices are linked to an app and can be controlled by whomever in the world who has been given control permission.


Ranging from a simple key safe box that can be locked and unlocked at distance, to more advance products such as the little devil collar.

Here is a short walkthrough Qiui range:


  • Keypod: Digital key safe, timer function and app controlled. Hand over the key to your arousal, no physical presence needed. 
  • Cellmate device:A male chastity cage that is synchronized to the sub’s phone and authority is given to the keyholder via an app. The sub won't be able to get it unlocked until allowed, the dom having full control on his genitals. 
  • Little devil shock collar: a collar attached to the neck of the sub while the dom having the pleasure of position and punishment control. For example, for position control. The sub must stay in all four for a certain amount of time, if he breaks instructions, electric shocks will remind the ownership. Compatible for male and female subs. 


6. Role playing in LDR 


While lacking physical contact, bring imagination into your LDR sessions. 

Whatever form of BDSM play you're interested in, you can find the appropriate costumes for it online or at special shops.

Understanding your partner's fantasies and embodying the role will give sexual experience a new level of depth, closeness and connection.

Role playing and the detail in your own mental image stimulates arousal in your partner.

LDR BDSM Role play


Combine role playing with creative writing and sexting, instead of saying “I will punish you”, say “I will slowly bend down and whisper to your ear “Have you been a good boy?”, then caress your back with a whip, while your arms are restrained, i will bring the rope down to your stinging flesh until i see you had enough”. 


By strategically using validation and interactive feedback, you can turn a simulated experience into a memorable experience for both of you.



7. Offering gifts 


Reward your partner and show him/her you are also present physically through a gift. Showing love and appreciation as well as setting up the scene. 

Sexy lingerie, dildos, chastity devices, collar, etc or even a printed photography of you wearing or doing something arousing. 


Oxy-shop.com slogan is “the gift of submission”. Feel free to browse the store and send the presents directly to your love on. As a dom, sending a chastity cage to your male sub is a strong symbol of ownership. As a sub, sending the gears needed for your next session will be an exciting anticipation builder for when you meet up. 


Though it is sometimes hard for long-distance partners, little reminders of affection are important to keep any relationship alive.



cONCLUSION


To keep your BDSM long distance relationship spicy, you might have to get creative and be more determined than ever. Couples can enjoy BDSM by communicating with each other and exploring each other's fantasies. This will help them feel closer both physically and emotionally.


Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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