01-09-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


DRESS PROTOCOLS IN BDSM


When it comes to BDSM, it may seem as though one can never unravel all the kinky possibilities and activities in it. If this is your first time coming across the terms ‘BDSM clothing control’ or ‘dress protocol’, relax, you are about to add to your pre-existing knowledge. Exciting stuff, yes? Perhaps, you have even heard the terms before but have no idea what they mean, stick around. This article explains everything about dress protocols in BDSM.


In BDSM, there is a wide variety of dress protocols with different reasons behind each. BDSM clothing control exists in a dom/sub relationship and is one of the ways for BDSM to spice up their relationship. Now to the business of the day:



What are Dress Protocols in BDSM?


A dress protocol is a usually non-verbal set of rules that are established in a BDSM relationship to guide a submissive on how they are supposed to present themselves for a specific occasion or situation. Determined by the dominant, this could range from simple grooming activities to specific details on what to wear to bed or work. They could also include when and what body hair to shave, whether to wear panties out or not, type of jewelry to be used, use of hidden sex toys, nails paint color. Kink 101. 

Dress protocols in BDSM


WHY DO DOMINANTS INCORPORATE DRESS PROTOCOLS IN THEIR BDSM RELATIONSHIPS?


There are a number of reasons dominants place a huge importance on dress protocol in their relationships. Check out some of the reasons:


  • BDSM clothing control is one of the most evident symbols of ownership when the sub fully follows and adheres to the dress protocols. Through this, doms are able to build a preferred physical image of their sub or cause humiliation which gives the dom pleasure.
  • In the case of using dress protocols at a social gathering, dress protocols are used to keep vanilla people away and to increase the sexual vibe and sensuality at the gathering. 
  • Exploring and customising different outfits to fit the sub in their own world is also a fun way for BDSM couples to bond.


Here is what a dominant on darkanddominant.wordpress.com had to say about controlling his sub's dressing:


"When I was younger It used to be about dressing a submissive all sexed up – corsets, low cut top, short dresses, g strings (or thongs to you Americans). And don’t get me wrong, we (that is to say kitten and I) are very much about corsets and short dresses and g strings – that’s our tastes – but with age I’ve become, well, mature. It’s about guidance and care before control or degradation.


And then there’s the beauty of it too – how lovely it can be to dress for occasion. What’s the work day like? Is she having a low day? Will these pair of black lacy boylegs make her feel a little more confident? What about when she’s going out with her girls? Feeling a bit Halloween-y today? Let’s go with pumpkins! It’s a responsibility to do right by her as well as a sexy and touching reminder for the both of you.” 


GUIDELINES FOR BDSM CLOTHING CONTROL


Some things need to be put in place before establishing dress protocols in a BDSM relationship. Here is a guideline to help you and your partner in setting dress protocols:

  • There must be an agreement between both dom and sub partners that there will be clothing control.
  • The sub should present all their outfits to the dom so the dom can approve the outfits they can wear. In case of a long distance relationship, the sub should send images of her outfits.
  • Before every outing, the sub may choose three outfits they would like to wear so the dom can pick one for them to wear. The dom must always make the selection.
  • The sub must pay attention to every dress protocol the dom establishes and follow them.


We are talking often about dress protocol for the submissive, yet the dom can also follow a strict dress protocol to show his respect and commitment. Here is a reddit thread questioning the topic. 


BDSM Clothing control


EXAMPLES OF DRESS PROTOCOLS


  • Shaving or not shaving the genital area
  • Wearing insertable sex toys
  • Only specific colors of clothing
  • Allowances to wear pants or dresses
  • Maintaining a certain hairstyle
  • Request for high heeled shoes
  • Wearing or not wearing makeup
  • Having manicures and pedicures
  • Subs presenting themselves in private completely nude
  • Wearing the BDSM collar
  • Wearing undergarments
  • Dominants wearing gloves and subs having bare hands at all times (this one is for purists).
  • Only dominants wearing Muir caps.
BDSM Dress protocol


FAQS


  • What Should I Consider When Establishing a BDSM Dress Protocol?

  • One of the most important things to consider is to ensure that the protocols established are positive in nature. I.e. They should be statements of what to do rather than what not to do. This is because negative rules tend to be depressing for subs. For example; sub must wear skirts and dresses everyday instead of sub must not wear pants or shorts.


  • Can BDSM Dress Protocol Be Adjusted?

  • Frequent adjustments in BDSM dress protocol are allowed and in fact, recommended to prevent boredom from setting in. 


  • What Do I Do If My Sub Does Not Follow the Dress Protocol?

  • First, the dress protocol should be maintained with little or no interaction from the dom partner. If a sub goes against the dress protocol, then you may help them get back on track with punishment as stated in your contract or positive reinforcement.


    CONCLUSION


    One thing to keep in mind about dress protocols is that they are usually meant for specific occasions or situations. Although some people find rules constraining, BDSM clothing control is one way kink couples keep the fire burning in their relationship. Would you give it a try? Have fun and let us know how it goes.


    Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

    Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

    "I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

    Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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