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Planning Your 1st Contact With A Mistress? Check These 10 Tips

01-03-2020 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


If you are about to meet and get adventurous with your Mistress, then you should read this. Below are top 10 rules, which if followed, will not only make your meeting smooth but also one to remember.


1. Stick to a polite, formal, and submissive tone


Considering this is your first meeting, you are probably unsure what the preferences or style of your Mistress are. Hence, using a formal tone puts you on the safe side, whether your Mistress is friendly or strict.  Showing some humility in your messages will make her feel in-charge, and help you get started on a remarkable front. 


2.  Do not be profane


Extend the same attitude you show during official and business meetings to your Mistress. Avoid the “F” words or any other profane remarks. While you both may get freaky at subsequent meetings, you must show strong morals during the first meeting. 


3.  Ensure brevity


Chances are you are not the only sub male your Mistress is talking to. 


Hence, wasting your Mistress’ time with unnecessary talks may reduce your chances of making the cut. 


Stick to brief and concise emails. State your mission clearly – are you just an admirer, or you seek something more? 


Present your case succinctly using fewer words.


4.  Be inclusive


The point above suggests that 10-15 sentences are ideal for your first email. However, you must capture all the essential information in a few sentences. Doing otherwise will force the Mistress to reply with more questions for you, thus stalling your interaction. For best results, your first message MUST include a name. You may use your real name or choose a unique and not too vague nick. Add your location or where you will travel (for Mistresses that travel a lot). Also, state your fetish interests – those things you crave or might be interested in trying. Lastly, state your request, backed by a precise explanation.


5. Avoid manipulations of all sorts


As tempting as it may be to appear naughty, freaky, or manipulative, avoid it when sending your first message. These attitudes are great only when introduced in the dungeon. A clear instance of manipulation is showing annoyance with the hope that you get insulted and humiliated by the Mistress in her reply. This may jeopardize your chances, especially if your Mistress is very experienced. Even if she ends up annoyed as you would expect, you and your intents would come as ‘time-wasting’ rather than impressive. In the worst scenarios, you may be blacklisted. 


6.  Never send a photo of your penis

Including a photo of your dick in your first message shows that you are a jerk. Unlike males, females’ interests are not piqued by nudity. 



She is most likely not interested in the size or shape of your manhood. So, keep it away. Only show your dick and butt picks on request from your Mistress.


7.  Brief research helps


Rather than bombard your Mistress with several questions, check online for her website or blogs. Information from these resources will help you get familiar with your Mistress. This speeds up the talking phase and presents you as a serious person to her. The fact that you know some basics about your Mistress indicates that you are not just another attention seeker. 


8. Ping-Pong messages do not help


Do you still have questions to ask your Mistress even after the research? Combine all of these questions into one email and send it. One-liner messaging will do a lot of harm to your communication with your Mistress. 


9.  Get your writing right


Avoid language, grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors in your texts. You may use online writing tools to perfect your texts before sending them. Also, factor in your findings on your Mistress when writing to her. What’s her preferred language of communication? Is she a fan of short or long paragraphs? Does she prefer coded or straightforward texts? Know all these and apply them to your writing. 

In all, keep it simple and correct. Your Mistress may lose interest if it takes extra effort to understand your messages. 


10. Be expressive


Yes, the nine rules above are essential. However, the tenth and most important rule is to express yourself. Present yourself to her as a well-spoken, polite, and subservient sub. Avoid robotic intonations, tones, or approach. Show your creative side alongside a bit of your personality. You never can tell what precisely will interest your Mistress. 

Conclusively, we understand how tricky it can be to apply the 10 tips/rules discussed above. To make things easier, we have created a perfect example of a first-time message to a Mistress below: 


Dear Mistress,


Your profile and photos are quite impressive. It is difficult to ignore your sheer dominance and commanding beauty. I base in (include your city and country). Is this part of your routes? I am a fan of (insert your fetish list) and eagerly look forward to serving as your slave. I will be delighted to hear from you. What would be your most convenient time to talk, Goddess? 


I look forward to your instructions, 


Slave “insert unique nick” from Amsterdam. 


Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


Follow on medium - Follow on twitter 


4 Responses

chris n
chris n

March 15, 2020

I have often heard from Dommes to leave out my my “kinks” are until they ask. I keep it about what I lkied about them and what I have to offer them. If they are interested they will then ask what I am “into” bdsm wise.

Ms Steen
Ms Steen

March 15, 2020

Yes, please boys….pay attention! This is great information! You can be a little more creative than the sample, because showing some personality will make you stand out. Everyone tells me I am beautiful or dominant; so if you are going to say that, tell me what you find beautiful/dominant and why (briefly). But these rules are great!

One rule suggestion, if I may…Listen with your ears, not with your mouth. If a Mistress is taking time to share something with you, take the time to pay attention. Don’t interrupt or be so eager to share something back to show common interest that you make her feel like what she said is not important. Listen and be grateful she is sharing.

Thanks Jett!!!

susiehoe
susiehoe

March 15, 2020

My problem is that I explain to Dominant Women what I like instead of letting them just take control and just reply to their questions.
I do read the BIO’s and only reply to Mistresses that might have a connection with.

susiehoe

Sarah
Sarah

March 15, 2020

Appearantly I come off as dominate so guys on tumblr send me messages like that all the time, however they completely disregard my bio and the fact it states I’m not that type of person.

Moral of the story gents read her bio! It contains important information she will be impressed if you know it

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