A few assumptions. Everyone has a different idea of perfection and a different idea of dominance. These are complicated concepts. We are complicated in our kinkiness and in our dominant submissive relationships.

My perfect dominant is a woman, about my age, with whom I have a relationship outside of kink, as well as our mistress and slave roles. We have a psychological space were we can retreat from our role-playing. We might be married, or not, but we are definitely in a long-term relationship. We are living in the same house and share ownership of many things. We have converted various corners of our house into spaces suitable for kinky play. We can laugh with each other and can apologize to each other too. Source: Medium

I am deeply, desperately in love with this woman and she is in love and totally committed to me. This is not to say that our kinkiness and her manipulation of my jealousy wouldn’t include some cuckold play with another man or a dominant or submissive woman. Such things are entirely and always up to my Mistress.

Here are twelve ways my perfect dominant ensures her slave’s obedience and love:

1) She listens and discusses a play session beforehand. While she listens to her slave begging for certain kinds of treatment, she reserves all decisions to be hers alone. She frequently punishes her slave for demanding more than he is entitled to.

2) She proceeds with punishment, such as caning, spanking, or whipping with repeated blows to the same place on the skin. Then she pauses, assesses the state of her slave, and proceeds to the next level of torment or the next place on his body to inflict pain.

3) She understands and enjoys the enormous variety of ways she has to arouse, torment, and torture her slave. She enjoys watching him deep-throat her seven-inch black strapon. She slaps his face if he gags on the length of her dildo. If he does a particularly poor job of sucking it, she threatens to take it off and not penetrate him with it tonight. He works the cock more diligently with his mouth, because having her fuck him in the mouth and ass is one of the few pleasures he is regularly allowed.

4) She combines bondage with corporal punishment. She has studied how to apply rope to the body and she can dress her slave in a deprivation hood, gag, blindfold, leather, or steel restraints and set everything to a thrilling tightness. She understands nipple clamps and other means of pressure play. She enjoys stuffing her slave’s mouth with a large handkerchief and taping it in place with duct tape or an athletic bandage wound many times around his head. She seeks his silence, but enjoys the quiet mewling sounds he makes. Slave has ten different types of nipple clamps and four different cock cages: many choices! She has told slave she plans to take him to the local tattoo parlour and have his nipples and genital area pierced.

5) She uses bondage to maintain heightened erotic pressure on her slave. She might leave him tightly bound on the hardwood floor for ten or fifteen minutes. Alone in the room, in the dark with the lights off, he can only wait while she takes a break in another part of the house or makes a phone call. His collar is attached by a short chain to the foot of their bed. On his knees with his hands behind in the handcuffs, he is gagged. He has to be careful how he moves, especially if he is trying to sit and take the pressure off his knees. He is constantly wondering what comes next. When will she return to change his bondage or release him from it?

6) She trains her slave to endure longer and longer sessions under her heels, under her command. Every session includes a period of him licking her boots, kissing and talking about how much he loves her feet, her stockings, and how much he adores her, in her totality. He must compliment her body and outfit, and pledge to love her forever. Even if she has barely bothered to dress up at all -- for example, wearing only blue jeans, sneakers, and a white tank top -- he must tell her how much he adores her. Perhaps the four-foot cane in her hand and the black leather driving gloves she is wearing -- a present he bought for her last birthday -- urges him to say these things.

7) She talks. She fantasizes aloud about the harder and more difficult tortures she might use on him without actually saying what her intentions are, or when she will spring these surprises on him.

8) She enjoys dressing up in uniforms, and has an ample collection of latex, leather, and other clothing to enhance her desirability. He practically whimpers when we sees in her in shiny black high heels. She enjoys making him adore her from across the room. Sometimes, touching her is forbidden. More often, touching his cock is forbidden; when he forgets this, he receives ten cane strokes. Source: Quora

9) She enjoys thwarting her slave’s requests for a particular fetish item or favorite form of punishment. Later, at a time of her choosing, she might provide what he seeks. She always punishes him when he displays his most frequent fault: “topping from below.”

10) She dominates him on a set schedule, typically once a week for several hours at a time. He is obliged to provide her, with his lips and tongue, as many orgasms as she wants, on demand. His orgasms are optional. If he has been particularly responsive to her wishes, at the end of a session he is allowed to masturbate on the floor while admiring her boots, stockings, open dress, her shaved pussy, and her breasts as she towers above him. She enjoys this and a mocking smile rarely leaves her beautiful face, her glistening red lips. She chuckles at his pathetic attempts to pleasure himself.

11) Once in a while, she upends their weekly schedule by rousing him in the middle of the night for an impromptu session of dominance, whipping and bondage. An extra session is only provided if it is particularly inconvenient for him.

12) While he is not caged 24/7, she makes him sleep in a chastity cage and other steel restraints, chained to connectors on their bed, so that his sleep is often disturbed. When he wakes, he realizes he has slept in bondage -- he didn’t just dream he was sleeping in restraints! -- and that his last hours of their last session did not end when they went to bed. This moment of waking is powerfully emotional for him and it is usually accompanied by a nocturnal erection that strains against the bars of his cock cage. She especially enjoys talking about his caged predicament and delays releasing him for several minutes. She takes her time when considering a request. She reserves the right to deny him what he thinks he wants. Time and his body are entirely hers to control. Over several years, her knowledge of his desires and his weaknesses has becomealmost absolute. She knows that his slave training will never end, as she seeks total obedience, as she seeks to eradicate his few remaining habits of resistance to her. Source: jordangrayconsulting

Feel free to share your own experiences of a good dominant in comments below.