01-06-2023 - Written by Jett Oxy - Follow on medium 


What Do I Call My Dominant?


Names have a way of making the difference in every relationship. The same way pet names remind your partner or even close friends what they mean to you and make their hearts flutter, names in a BDSM relationship do the same. 


Are you a newbie in BDSM and have no idea what to call your dominant partner? Stick around. You are about to leap out of excitement as you practise calling out these names. Have you been experienced in BDSM relationships but are now bored of the names you have been using and you need something more spicy and sexy? This article does not leave you out. Read this article to learn some of the hottest dominant names. But first, check out why you should adopt BDSM names.


Dominant names


PURPOSE OF BDSM NAMES


Whether you limit your BDSM role play to your sessions or you incorporate them in your everyday life, you and your partner should consider adopting BDSM names. See why:


  • They Give You The Right Mindset: Using BDSM names helps you get into your role comfortably. It has the same effect of turning the lights off, putting on some nice music and setting the mood for sex. BDSM names set up the right mood for some BDSM action.
  • BDSM Names Help To Reinforce Your Roles:While some people use BDSM names only during a session, others use them even while they are going about their normal lives. For those who use BDSM names outside the bedroom, it helps to reinforce and remind each person of their roles in the relationship even while going about their normal lives.
  • Naming Ceremony: You could also choose to organise a special naming ceremony for you and your partner in an appropriate location. Some people even have collaring ceremonies to show their commitment to their partners.
  • Big ‘D’ and Little ‘S’:These titles are used in some kinky spaces to indicate if someone is a dom or sub. Subs usually write their names in lowercase and doms put their names in uppercase.


The Role of a Dominant Partner


In a dom/sub relationship, the dominant partner’s role is to hold and exercise control which the sub consensually hands through a BDSM contract. Azaria Menezes says “as a dominant, you enjoy the role of being assertive and direct how the scene plays out. As a dominant, your role is to lead, guide, protect, enforce and decide the dynamics of the relationship. But most importantly, your role is to hold the space of trust and exercise control with responsibility”.


DOMINANT NAMES TO CALL YOUR PARTNER


The dominant name you call your partner is completely up to you. The appropriate names make your dominant partner feel powerful and in character. Check out some dominant names suitable for females and males respectively:


FEMALE DOMINANT NAMES


Check out some sexy names you can call your female dominant partners either during or outside a session:

  • Mistress
  • Lady
  • Goddess
  • Queen
  • Mommy
  • Countess
  • Ma’am
  • Governess
  • Headmistress
  • Bitch
  • Ms
  • Madam
  • Domina
  • Miss
  • Milenka
  • Princess
  • Maitresse

N.B: Mistress is the female version of Master. However, a lot of people do not like that it depicts human slavery. So if you fall into this category, a better option is ‘Khaleesi’ which has its origin from Game of Thrones. You can also get inspiration from your favourite movie characters, book characters or military titles. 


Names such as ‘Queen’ or ‘Goddess’ are also good choices because they instil a sense of power and exaltation. You may also add descriptors such as ‘majestic’ and ‘glorious’ to give it a bit of drama. 


Names such as ‘Domina’ and ‘Princess’ are less common. If you are looking for something elegant, you should try out Domina. Princess creates a less sense of power than other names.


MALE DOMINANT NAMES


Dominant names for your male partner are just the masculine form of the feminine names listed above: 

  • Count
  • Prince
  • Maestro
  • Lord
  • Daddy
  • Sir
  • Mister
  • Dominus
  • Headmaster
  • King
  • Coach
  • Duke
  • Marquis
  • Boss
  • Liege
  • Captain
  • Sergeant
  • Colonel

All of these names create a sense of power and are the ideal dominant names for your dom partner. One name that is common even in non-BDSM relationships is ‘Daddy’. This is perfect for doms who have fatherly inhibitions such as nurturing, guiding and caring about their subs. 


Also, it is not compulsory to give your dominant partner a name, if you do not want to.  You might just be keener about the tone in your partner’s voice, the actions and the kinky things they do. Some dom/sub couples use their real names.  As your relationship progresses, you might also need to change your dominant partner’s name to suit the dynamics of your relationship. 


BDSM Slave Name


HOW TO CHOOSE THE PERFECT DOMINANT NAMES


Choosing the perfect dominant name for your dom partner is subjective and might be confusing. Take a look at some general tips you can consider to pick the right one:


  • Make it personal: Choose a dominant name for your partner based on what sounds and feels good to you. Ensure the name makes you and your partner feel connected.
  • A traditional or unique title? : Decide if you want to call your dom partner a cliché traditional royal title or a unique name. 
  • Feel Free to Pick More Than One Dominant Name: It is okay to pick more than one dominant name for your partner. If you are in a location where you do not want people to suspect there is a BDSM connection, you may easily get away with ‘Sir’ or ‘Madam’. Also, you may pick different names for different role plays. 
  • Add a Bit of Spice: Adding an initial or his name would make your dominant name more interesting. For example, King James, Queen Melissa, Ms. B. 


FAQS


WHAT SHOULD A SUBMISSIVE NEVER SAY TO A DOMINANT PARTNER?

Phrases such as ‘I have no limits’, ‘I am down for anything’ are turn-offs for some doms. Your feelings and satisfaction are valid too and should be taken into consideration in drafting your BDSM contract.


CONCLUSION


Choosing the right dominant name for your dom partner sets the tone for your relationship. Feel free to try out different names and watch their reactions before sticking to it. A plus is that most of the names can be used during vanilla sex or amongst vanilla people. Just ensure you pick something that works best for you and your partner. Good luck!


Those BDSM name tags are a perfect discreet add on to be reminded who you are. Add to a collar, a keychain or to a piercing for example:

BDSM Tag Sissy

“Sissy” name tag

BDSM Tag Slave

“SLAVE” name tag

BDSM Tag Mistress's Pet

“MISTRESS'S PET” name tag

BDSM Tag Cum Slut

“CUM SLUT” name tag

Article Written by Jett Oxy for oxy-shop.com. 

Jett is the owner of Oxy-shop.com, a BDSM insider, a sex educator and writer. 

"I always try to explore the confines of the BDSM world and bring valuable insights for new comers joining our adventure" 

Phd in related field, father and business owner, Jett Oxy brings you stories and advices  for educational and entertainment purposes. 


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